Letter_Silvia.
Dear
Caroline,
I am
immensely happy to receive a wonderful proposal like this. I can’t wait to
discover the fabulous, boundless Australia and live an unforgettable experience
in an educational summer camp with you. I’m really grateful for the opportunity
that you are offering me. Could I possibly know the start date of the camp?
I would
really like to undertake Zoology studies because I am so concerned in wildlife
and I think that animals could teach us the secrets of the nature that we are pitifully
defacing.
How much is
the camp? What type of sports are we going to practice?
I would
never refuse a trip with you, my dear Caroline. I am very attracted to the idea of
exploring the colorful underwater world, so what better occasion to do it!
P.S. Thank you for the beautiful photos! :)
I look forward to your answer.
Love,
Silvia
Hi Silvia,
ReplyDeleteAs I have said to your colleagues, profuse apologies for taking so long to comment. The year got off to a hectic start but I am trying to get up to date and then will continue that way! As I also said, I don't actually have a copy of the wording to this question but think I can get enough information from what you have all written to guess.
With the above comment in mind, I think this letter deals fully with the topic. It is very well written and the paragraphs are nicely expanded. The language is good and there are not many errors. Well done.
Dealing specifically with the points:
- extremely happy would be better than immensely
- I think it's better to leave out the "the" in "fabulous, boundless Australia."
- Could you possibly let me know the start date...
- very concerned about wildlife .... animals can (rather than could) teach...
- practise (with s for the verb in English rather than US English) is used more for some skill that you do again and again to improve, e.g. a particular movement. Here better play, do or take part in.
- colorful is US English, colourful is English English. Doesn't rally matter which you use as long as you're consistent.
- I like the addition of a PS. It gives a natural sound to the e-mail.
Altogether a good letter. Well done.