[Writing part 1]
My dear Andrew,
I'm so pleased to hear some news about your business.What a beautiful idea starting off a new activity! Running your own holidays camps, children will have a whale of time and get brand new experiences!
I definitely think your camp will be successful and a massive number of children will join it.
In my country, during summer, children get easily bored: they've got plenty of time but they waste it because they have no idea how to spend it.They would be delighted knowing about holidays activities!
I'd really like helping you running your camps, but I haven't completely understood where am I going to stay.Can you tell me something more about my accommodation?
Please,write me as soon as possible.
Kisses,
Benny
Hi Benny,
ReplyDeleteReally glad to see you writing on the blog. I was beginning to think no-one was going to come on here any more!!!
As regards your letter, it reads well and has a lovely friendly tone. The only problem I have is that I don't know what the original task was and can't help feeling that there may have been more points you had to include. Could you possibly post the task for me too and I can comment in a more informed way. In the meantime, I will just talk about the language in your letter - which is good!!!
A very few little things:
holiday camps (holiday is a kind of adjective here so doesn't take a plural form)
To really nitpick, "running your own camps" should actually go with the following subject whereas here "you" are running your own camps whereas "the children" are having a good time so it might be better to say, "Running your own...... will give the children a whale of a time as well as lots of new experiences!" (However, as I say, this is REALLY nitpicking.
- children easily get bored (word order)
- delighted to know (not "knowing")
- I'd really like to help you run your camps but ....where I am going to stay (word order)
- Please write to me as soon..... (No comma)
- Kisses is rather familiar - it depends what the relationship is. Maybe for the exam "Love" or "Best wishes," would be better.
As I said above, the language is good. I would really like to see the task so that I can be more helpful, so if you could post it for me it would be great. But well done for the natural-sounding letter.
Best wishes,
Sherry
Dear Sherry,
ReplyDeletethanks for all your advices. :)
this was the letter we must aswer in the exam, this was the "writing part 1.. "
Hi again,
DeleteI meant to tell you earlier - you were absolutely right - when I actually saw the wording of the task I can safely say you've covered all the points. Well done and good luck with the exam if you're doing it this week as I think.
Very best wishes,
Sherry