In
this article I am going to talk about a burning social curse, the
drug addiction. Dependence on a substance (drug addiction) is a set
of symptoms suggest that an individual continues the use of a
substance despite the problems of toxicity. Tolerance and dependence
physics are included under this definition, but they are not
sufficient, alone, to warrant a diagnosis of drug addiction, for
which is required of the combination of at least 3 symptoms. The
variables which may influence the odds that a common individual
could become a consumer or worse, a drug addict are related to the
his social and affective surrounding, his interior and intimate
sphere, his economic position, his cultural heritage…There are also
genetic basis which could contribute to the arising of drug
addiction, and it is above all our biological constitution that
dictate the reaction of the organism due to the drugs, the type of
addiction, the effects of abstinence…We wrongly make difference
among “soft drugs” such as marijuana, hashish or opium, and
“heavy drugs” like cocaine, heroin or ecstasy, because they both
determine devastating consequences in the long-term, that drug
consumers almost never consider. It exist so many chemical mixes of
psychoactive elements which produce loss of ability to react to
stimulus, incapacity to assess and monitor actions, lack of
personality, mental changes, distorted perception of space and time,
and alteration of all the basic functions. On the organism, the drug
is able to cause irreversible damage to several organs,
particularly
on cerebral, respiratory, reproductive systems and it’s not
enough…in some cases, tumors or similar pathologies cannot be
excluded. We have the moral and human duty to stay close to addict
people, to prevent this horrible phenomenon, to be informed and
sensitive, especially young people need to be preserved from this
awful monster also through the work of police forces and
institutions, if even the best mean of defence is our little but
decisive, daily contribution.
Hi again. A bit quicker getting to your second post than I was the first!
ReplyDeleteAltogether this is a very ambitious piece of work on a complex and weighty topic and you have made an admirable job of it. Inevitably any attempt to discuss such a complicated subject in another language is going to throw up some areas where the two languages would express points differently so again I am fine-tuning here!
One important point to mention from the start is the lack of paragraphs. This is an important one as you would automatically lose marks in the exam.
To go through point by point:
- In line 1 no article "curse, drug addiction."
- Dependence can't be a set of symptoms!! I suggest leaving out that whole clause and say e.g. ....(drug addiction) implies (or possibly suggests) that an individual...
- Word order: "for which a combination of at least 3 symptoms is required."
- I think "a normal individual" works better than "common".
- Comma after drug addict.
- You can't put "the" together with "his".
- The list of variables is a little awkward. What do you mean by "affective surroundings" and "interior and intimate sphere". Do you mean something like "inner world"?
- bases (plural)
- which could contribute to the development of drug addiction...
- dictates (singular - linked to "constitution")
- the reaction of the organism to the drugs (take away "due")
- Technically you need an "and" to link the last of the list i.e. "and the effects of abstinence."
- We wrongly differenciate between "soft drugs" such as ..... and hard drugs like .... because they both have devastating consequences in the long-term which drug-users almost never consider.
- "There are" rather than "it exist"
-With regard to the effect on the organism itself, the drug is able to .... particularly on the cerebral, respiratory and reproductive systems and that's not enough - in some ....
(English spelling = "tumours", American "tumors"
- to addicted people...
- ...sensitive. Young people especially also need to be preserved from this awful monster through the work of police forces and institutions, even if the best means of defence is our own small but decisively important daily contribution.
Again a very high standard of language. Very well done!
Thank you again! Come and visit us whenever you want, especially now for Christmas! Bye!
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